Andayi Mushenye always dreamed of moving to America, and his dream is coming true.
Accepted at Eastern Michigan University he soon learns that American culture is very different
from his Kenyan village, and the British English he learned in school has not prepared him for
American colloquialism.

From the moment he exits the plane, he faces many challenges. He’s never seen an escalator,
and he doesn’t know Americans drive on the opposite side of the road and write dates with the
month first. He is castigated for washing his face in a water fountain and thinks Pizza is a
person. The grocery store has many varieties of the same food and he’s horrified they sell hot
dogs and swiftly departs. For days, he subsists on bread and Coke but when he runs out he goes
grocery shopping. He boards a bus but doesn’t understand that nobody collects the fare and
soon he thinks the cops are chasing him for fare dodging. He gets off the bus and takes the
backroads back to campus. He later decides to go on foot to look for food. When he passes an
eatery with a neon sign indicating it’s an all-you-can-eat-buffet, he is afraid to go in because he
is not sure he can afford all the food. Someone suggests he eats at Subway but he wonders how
he can eat at a train station in New York when he is in Michigan.

Eventually, he sees a sign that says KFC and watches vehicles pulling up at a window to collect
their food. He walks through and begins to order but is refused service. He suspects they are
racist but the attendant asks him to come inside. Although he is afraid fried chicken is too
expensive, he is soon educated about the confusing chicken delicacies, different flavors, and
numerous drink options. It’s the best chicken he has ever eaten.

On his way back to campus, he sees a sign that says everything is a dollar. He fills his bag but is
shocked to find it is the cost of each item. He convinces his dormmates to get a bucket of KFC
but disgusts them by cracking open the bones to suck out the marrow, then chewing the fried
bones. When he learns that Americans throw away fish heads the fishmonger offers him them
for free but when he starts cooking them in the dorm’s community kitchen it sparks a comedic
circus. He volunteers to give some head to his friend and discovers this means something
completely different. Eventually, the other students complain about the smell, and Andayi is
told to stop cooking in the dorm kitchen.

But food isn’t the only challenge. He ruins his clothes by washing them in bleach because the
packet indicated it makes clothes brighter. He goes to buy new ones but no vehicle stops to give
him a ride (as any polite African would) and he is forced to walk to campus in the sweltering
heat. When he complains to his friend, he is told about the dangers of serial killers in America.
Andayi signs up for a swimming class where he learns that what he sees as giving a girl an
admiring look and a compliment might be considered sexual harassment.
However, Andayi faces his biggest challenge in a required computer basic skills class. He’s
never touched a computer, doesn’t know what a mouse or a desktop is, and tries to copy the
other students’ movements. The lab assistant shows him how to use email and sets up an
address but when he gets an American Online message saying he has mail he runs to his
Residence Hall, but finds nothing. The Resident Hall receptionist volunteers to show him where
his mail is and tells him he has a lot of spam. Andayi wonders how she knows he is full of
unused sperm since leaving Africa.

When she tells him about the danger of viruses and to protect his hardware, he thinks she is
warning him about HIV and to use condoms. Eventually, he realizes that no one, including his
classmates, is born knowing how to use a computer, but this skill is essential to his future. He
studies extra hard and by the end of the semester, he aces his final exams. On the last day of the
semester, a BYOB party is announced. Andayi, just like in his village, dresses immaculately for
the occasion, majestically enters the party venue, and sits down. He sees everyone is drinking
but he is not served any drinks or food. Not knowing it’s a Bring-Your-Own- Beer party, he
thinks he is being discriminated against, gets infuriated, and storms out of the party. Finally
technologically plugged into the United States of America, he’s on his way to accomplishing his
dreams, or so he thought.